ISABELLA AYANA

Since I've last blogged, I gave birth to a gorgeous, healthy, perfect & precious little girl named Isabella Ayana (meaning "forever beautiful"). When I 1st laid eyes on her I was elated & overwhelmed with feelings of pure & utter love, I could not get over how much she looked like my angel Christopher. It was a surreal feeling of mixed emotions that are impossible to describe. Now\, at 3 1/2 mos old, she still looks so much like him that at times while she lays asleep on my chest I look at her, sobbing...Im unsure still if theyre happy or sad tears...maybe a bit of both. I feel so blessed to have her & Adriana & CJ, yet I will never feel whole again. On Nov. 22nd 2007, a piece of my soul was buried with my son's soul. I can only hope & pray that this piece of me stays within  him & guides him up in heaven. In honor of my beloved son during Stillborn Awareness month 2012.